Not Always A Fairytale

As much as I hate to admit it...but all of the adults in my life were right.  Marriage is hard; it's a lot of work!  That happy mooshy gooshy fairytale wedding bliss doesn't last very long.  If you get married, enjoy the honeymoon stage while it lasts because when it's over there is no turning back.  Don't get me wrong -- I love being a wife and I enjoy spending time with my husband.  However there are just some things that take you by surprise.  This is especially true if you have never lived with the person you married or anyone else for that matter.

Learning how to work as a team has probably been the toughest thing so far.  It's not easy looking at what his family did versus how my family did things.  We were always competing on how things should work in our house; how chores should be divided, how holidays should be spent, whose side of the family should we stay with, the list goes on and on.  After about three months of consistent arguing and fighting and arguing and fighting, we started to compromise and learn that it was us who should decide how our lives need to be lived.  So we finally learned to make it our own way of doing things and not our parents' ways.

And we are back on track...almost.  There is always going to be that something that sparks a fight every now and again.  There are many ups and downs, highs and lows that go along with being married.  Sometimes I can't stand the sight of him and I'm sure sometimes he can't stand the sight of me.  You know what the best part is?  It's not making up (cause that's not as exciting as most people seem to think; just more like a mutual understanding that the fight is over).  The best part is knowing that no matter how many times we fight, we decide each time that we love eachother enough to pull through and want to stay with the other person.  Marriage is a commitment that lasts for life -- no matter how tough or how tiring it is.  We made our vows to eachother and there is no turning back; "and the two shall become one flesh" (Mark 10:8).

So now when I'm sitting here typing this entry with freshly cried tears drying up on my face, I forget my anger and realize that everything is going to be okay.  No fight will ever be too much for us to handle and God will always be there to bring us back to together.  Yes, we lash out and hurt one another with the harshest words and the meanest thoughts, but it is only in defense of our hearts.  One day the fighting won't be because we are still scared to fully love one another.  One day it will be purely because that's what couples do to move on and learn more about eachother.  I've got to remember to fight fare and to fight towards a productive goal; instead of purely trying to tear him down.  We've both got a lot more growing up to do, but hey we were only married at nineteen, so who can expect perfect civilized behavior...